Murray Hamilton needs to prune his cherry tree

Murray Hamilton needs to prune his cherry tree, the one by his garage. It’s too big. I saw it yesterday driving down Caledonia Street past his house. It's beautiful, in perfect proportion, but it’s too big. He said to come and look at it, he’s tired of paying the Arborist $500 for a tree trim.

Murray has a lot of trees in his yard. I think what he needs is some flowers, some perennials. Being a guy, he hasn’t thought of that. He has maintained his shrubbery and lawn quite nicely, even the two big dogs – the dogs have their own dog yard. The fence got a fresh coat of shellac. Everything is under control.

But that’s going to change. My proposal is to introduce dis-order – if he hires me to do some garden work. After all he just got married so his life is going to hell anyway. This is a beautiful woman he married. All the guys say so. Murray doesn’t have a chance.

Now he must “listen.” I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. Women want attention. Why? Why don’t they just cook and clean and smile? Then they want to have their own lives, which is fine as long as you don’t have to hear about it.

Murray’s going the way of all flesh – he’s becoming a better man, and God help us.