Sunday, October 30, 2005

Falling



Falling and loving are two different things.

Falling down is good. With practice you get better.

What does a woman mean when she says no?

Gabriel Garcia Marquez has inflamed my imagination.

We are making love. I crush your bones until there is nothing left but tulip petals in a pool of urine. Then your belly begins to swell like a fat tomato. A child is born that you can call your own. You can give it a name. I have my own pet names, Lunetta, for a girl, or Bradshaw Gumption for a boy, but I no longer need the power of naming.

Two years pass. Lunetta is a toddler. We are in France. I am very successful. We begin to quarrel. You say I love my work too much. I am distant, but I still think I can control you.

Ten more years pass. You are coming into your power now. You have become a true stallion of a woman, thicker, but still graceful in movement. And then we become equals and then we finally become friends.

Or, we live on a farm in southern Ohio with horses and cows.

Or, I become gravely ill, but even so you tire of me and leave me for Leonard, an artist in stained glass.

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I am planting a garden at my son's school there will be tulips, daffodils and the perineals from my own garden here. Divided, the new owners will never miss them, I shall give them to the children. It is a public preschool, many of the children have special needs. They will wait for spring and the blanket of snow to dissolve into blooms. And it will be beautiful, the flowers as well as the lesson learned. Beneath snow, bulbs hold such power.

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