Sunday, January 24, 2010

What a Bunch of Scaredy Cats

The Democrats are engaged in a massive, nationwide Pity Party, following the victory of Scott Brown in Massachusetts. Fifty-nine Democratic Senators are cowering under their desks -- scared of those mean Republicans.

"But Mom, they're not being nice to us."

Aw, poor Democratic Senators, are those mean, nasty Republicans bothering you? Well, you just come inside now and I'll fix you a nice, warm glass of milk and you can have some of your favorite cookies. I won't let those mean, nasty Republican Senators come inside and scare you anymore.

Let me just tuck you in the bed with your favorite Teddy Bear -- poor little Democratic Senators -- don't you be ascared anymore. Momma is watching over you now, and your fairy godmother too.

Fifty-nine Democratic Senators -- cowards, wusses, and weenies. If you're not up to the job, why don't you just go home and let someone else do it.

Scaredy cats! na-na-na-na! Chicken, Chicken -- Bock! Bock! Bock! -- Chicken, Chicken.

Losers! Phonies! You guys have lots of excuses, because you only out number the other team by 59 to 41. Boy, that's sounds really rough.

The Frightful Specter of Glenn Beck -- Satan! Sauron! The Evil One! No! No! Dare we say his name!

Glenn Beck is such a scary guy. We better not do anything that will make him mad. We should try to work out some kind of consensus with him -- have our people talk with his people.

Fox News! Fox News! Oh God, the nightmate continues! Please, please turn it off. Yes, you fifty-nine Democratic Senators, you must surrender, you will now be under our complete control. Because if you do not bow to our wishes, you will be forced to listen to Rush Limbaugh over and over again until you beg for mercy.

No, No, the horror! the horror!

Perhaps the "59" have been subjected to a mass hypnosis or they could have been administered a drug -- something that would explain their extremely passive behavior.

Maybe we should take a more compassionate and understanding attitude to those 59 snivelling cowards with pensions, and travel budgets and far better health insurance than you and I will ever have.

But I don't feel any pity. I feel scorn and contempt. Useless!

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