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Dead People on My Mailing List
It's
an end of the year project, I am sure this is familiar to you, to clean
out the cupboard and throw out the unpaired socks, and delete names
from your mailing list because people move one, even loved ones move on,
or they merely lose interest in your Internet connection.
Marty Federman
I
try not to send Frog Hospital to people who are not especially
interested in receiving it. But there are exceptions, called the Marty
Federman Rule.
What happened is that Marty, whom I have not
seen in over 20 years, said, in the kindest way, that since he hardly
reads Frog Hospital, would I please delete his name from the list.....
This
request was reasonable, but I could not comply. I even refused to
comply. I wrote to Marty and told him that I needed to know he was
there, even if he did not read it. I needed to know he was there because
he is one of the people I am writing for.
Thus was born
the status of Legacy Reader. And you might be one of them. That means
that your request to unsubscribe might not be honored.
Dead People
However,
we have a new problem -- what if you are dead? A good friend of mine,
her name was Hunter, and she lived in Altadena, with her dog and four
cats, and I was a frequent visitor, and often stayed in her spare
bedroom for several weeks at a time (paying her $100 per week).
She
died. Of course it was not entirely unexpected. She did have health
problems, and she had become concerned about living alone. Last year she
had a fainting spell and collapsed on the floor. That left her helpless
for several hours because she could not reach her cell phone.
So, treasuring her solitude, she still preferred my company for practical reasons, plus I was a good guest.
They
had a memorial in her honor at the Ale House, where she was known,
attending the wine tasting sessions there. Why do they call it wine
tasting? You go to a restaurant, are you food tasting? Anyway, those
were her people, having been 86'd from the Coffee Gallery.
This
was incredible. No one gets kicked out of the Coffee Gallery, except
maybe some crazy, homeless drunk or Jesus preacher.... but Hunter, in
her outspoken-ness, in her ranting, managed to alienate the entire round
table at the front of the house. This is a solid left-liberal group,
matching her politics and religion or lack thereof. It wasn't politics.
It's that she would not stop talking. And a woman at that. A highly
intelligent and very articulate woman.
No, it was not her being a woman. I can cite examples of men at other coffee shops who were evicted for similar offenses.
But for Hunter, it was a kind of status, being the first woman ever kicked out of the Coffee Gallery.
I grieved for her dying, but I never get over to Altadena these days, so she was fading from my life anyway.
Then
I come to her name on the mailing list. I was not prepared for this --
just to push a button and delete her name. I can't do that.
I give up. I can't delete anybody.
Marty, you are a great guy and I am glad you're still with me.
Hunter, I hope your dog and your four cats have found other homes because I know that would matter a lot to you.
All the rest of you, be well and I will write to you again soon enough.
--
send mail to:
Fred Owens
35 West Main St Suite B #391
Ventura CA 93001
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