Frog Hospital: Grumpy Old Men

Grumpy Old Men

By Fred Owens

I heard from two grumpy old men who are reliable Republican voters. They won't vote for Trump and they're not gonna vote for Hillary. They will leave the space blank and vote down the ticket. A third grumpy old man is dabbling with the Libertarians. He will not commit at this point, except he said Never Hillary.

I had an hour-long conversation with Stuart Welch, former owner of the Rexville Store near LaConner. Stuart is an expert on everything so the first thing I said when he answered the phone was who is going to win the election. He said it would be a close race, but Hillary would win it. Trump is too much of a wing-nut and voters will pull up short before putting him in office.

That's what Stuart said and it makes sense. Except that 2016 is not a year that makes sense. It's wild and crazy and it's Donald Trump that makes it so. He has managed to get the entire country mad at him for his mockery of the Gold Star Muslim mother and father.

Not one voter in 500 could recall the term "Gold Star mother" before last week. I could barely remember it myself. My Aunt Bee was a Gold Star mother because her son Donald died in the World War II. She was very sad about that, Uncle Ted too, but in recent years, even with 58,000 American soldiers killed in Vietnam, you rarely heard the term Gold Star mother. Not until this year.

Do we thank Trump for making the Khan family a media sensation? It's kind of weird that his mockery catapulted two unknown people into sudden fame.

I'm writing about Trump because has been all over the front page for days. Trump is all over the NYTimes and the Washington Post and CNN and MSNBC.
Hillary is buried in the background, she cannot get a word in sideways. Being the first woman is a milestone, but she doesn't get much press for that. She has good programs, and she would be glad to discuss them, but nobody is listening. They're not talking about her program, her pantsuit, her husband..... nothing.

Instead everybody is mad at Trump. I am kind of negatively impressed. The ENTIRE country is mad at him, but he gets up every morning without a care in the world, with no plan and no strategy. The Trump Jet is idling on the runway and Donald is wondering -- where should I go today?

We are Luke Warm for Hillary here at Frog Hospital. Last week, we considered third party options -- the Libertarian or Green parties. Nah! I just like being a Democrat too much. Gonna vote for Hillary.

Meanwhile, on the home front

Tomatoes. Don't ask me about tomatoes. I haven't got a clue. If I even look at a tomato plant it starts to wither and dry up. Or there are little white bugs eating the leaves, or gophers killing it from the ground up. I am not your tomato man. Do not come to me for advice.

Roses. I am doing much better with roses. This morning I gave a light pruning for a new customer. Twelve roses. I cut a little here, a little there -- it was like poetry, I am that good.

The Santa Barbara Kiwanis Club. I never joined anything in my life. I didn't play Little League ball because there were too many grownups watching and too many rules. I always liked playground baseball better. I never joined in extra-curricular activities at high school, not in college either.

I never joined anything. All I ever had in my wallet was a library card, a Social Security card and a driver's license. No dues, no meetings, no bylaws. None of that.

So I made it through life that way and never joined anything. I proved my point. That's why I joined the Kiwanis Club. Now I go to meetings every week, even board meetings, and I take notes and pay attention. I am developing administrative skills, no longer fighting the Overhead, but being a part of it.

At the Kiwanis Club we raise money and give scholarships to worthy high school students. It's not complicated. We do not allow political debate or religious recruitment at meetings, so members will not get blindsided.

I will be telling you more about Kiwanis in coming editions of the Frog Hospital newsletter, but for today I am wishing you the best of health, peace, love and prosperity.