Friday, July 18, 2008

Real Men Drink Tapwater

The following Frog Hospital fatwas are decreed:

1. Real men drink tap water. Bottled water is for sissies.

2. It is wrong to put croutons in salad. They are crunchy, noisy, and dusty. Croutons are supposed to go in your soup.

3. There is no fruit in salsa. Such abominations as peach or mango salsa are forbidden.

4. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. This is still true but pending reversal.

5. Don't get even, get odd.

SIGN. Sign at the LaConner Produce Market, "Unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy."

OBAMA SEES THE WORLD. "Obama will visit a series of European and Middle Eastern capitals with an enlarged traveling press and has carved out time along the way for separate interviews with each of the three network anchors" --- I hope Obama remembers that nobody over there can vote for him in November.

Otherwise, nothing in politics matters right now. The summer doldrums will continue until mid-August, when the conventions begin. Enjoy the peace and quiet, because the Obama v. McCain contest will go ballistic on Labor Day. It's going to be very intense, very exciting, and a little scary. Get your rest now and be prepared for a titanic struggle.

This fall, Obama will be drawing some of the biggest crowds in American political history. McCain cannot draw that size of audience or speak as well, but he is a steady fighter, and this race is going down to the wire.

The economy is in the tank. It's not just a mental recession, as Phil Gramm said, but there is a psychological component to all the ups and downs of the market. And I agree with Gramm on one thing -- No Whining. This is the time to put your confidence into play -- in yourself and in the people you trust. We are a resourceful country and there is nothing wrong that we can't fix.

AMY WINEHEART. Amy Wineheart is a fabulous talent. The way she delivers a lyric is heart-rending. There are so many celebrities about with all their self-destructive nonsense -- nothing people like Lindsey Lohan. But Amy is a major, major talent. I love her music. She gets a lot of press for her offstage antics -- ignore that. "You know I'm no Good." Listen to it on YouTube.

VICTORY GARDEN. Plant your victory garden. Invest in roses, rhododendrons, and raspberries. Put your money in your own backyard and watch it grow, with interest. Grow your own food. It's easy to do, really. I've done it myself. It's not like farming. Farming is when you grow enough food to make a living at it -- that's very hard. But growing a hundred pounds of potatoes in your own garden -- that's something you can learn how to do.

REBUILDING FISHTOWN. This is a tricky thing to write about, because if we announce the plans and put it on the Internet, that will screw everything up. A lot of people want to know where Fishtown is, and what people do in Fishtown, and how do you get to Fishtown, and what do you do when you get there.

I cannot answer these questions. It's one of those things that you find out when you find out.

Fishtown is not on the map and there is no plan.

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