Friday, June 21, 2019

Golf



Golf

By Fred Owens

I used to caddy at Indian Hill Golf Club in Winnetka, Illinois -- I started when I was 12, carrying heavy leather bags for stupid old men, or "stupid old men" was what I thought of them. I was the Holden Caufield of caddies. Nobody told me it was a networking opportunity. All I knew was that if I carried the bags for 18 holes, I would get paid for the work, so I didn't complain. But I never took an interest in the game of golf itself or the men who played it,, even though I spent hours walking the greens and admiring the leafy trees on the sides of the fairways. That's too bad because the course was closed for maintenance on Mondays and the caddies could play for free on that day.

I did like hanging around the caddy shack, associating with characters that my parents would not have approved. I learned to cuss, smoke cigarettes and pitch pennies. I never picked up any card-playing skills which is just as well.

But lately, I drive by the green lawns of the Santa Barbara Golf Club, and I hear this soft voice calling to me -- "you can play now, it's all right."

So I contacted Ed Murray. Ed is the oldest of the Murray brothers, including brother Bill Murray the actor. The Murrays are a famous golfing family.
I knew them in Wilmette where I grew up. They lived six blocks away. We went to school together and we caddied at Indian Hill. Ed, his brothers and the Caddy Shack served as inspiration for the movie of that name.

Ed is a retired investment banker. He lives and golfs an hour's drive from here in Santa Maria, so I sent him an email -- like, how do I get into this game, where do I start?

That's my personal news. Assuming most readers are not interested in golf, we shall move on to the next topic.

Weather. In Santa Barbara, overcast is common in June, a morning fog that burns off by 2 p.m., but we have had more of this than usual this year. We have had overcast all day, with no sunshine at all, for the whole month so far. This is part of the weird weather reported globally. Things are not what they used to be and we must be adaptable  -- that is our strength as human beings. We are the supreme opportunists on the planet. Make do!

My Health. I went to the doctor several times this month. Today I visit the dermatologist to show him the rash on my back. You really don't want to know anymore about all this -- these various aches and pains. I am grateful to the medical professionals that I deal with. They are not just caring persons, they are also intellectually curious about the human body. I do not expect doctors to know what the problem is, and if they know what the problem is, I don't expect them to know the remedy. All they can do is make an educated guess in many cases. But as long as they give it a try, that is all I ask. People expect miracles, but I don't. I'll settle for a good parking space.

My Brother Tom. My brother turned 77 on his birthday this month. He teaches history full-time at Santee High School in Los Angeles. Imagine doing that -- every morning, facing a room full of cheeky teenagers and attempting to teach them history. Tom says there are usually a handful of his students who are actually interested in history and are eager to learn more. These students are a treasure. There is a larger middle group of students who are not especially interested in history but will go along with it and learn what they must in order to complete the course and ultimately graduate. Then there are, thank goodness, a much smaller group of students who hardly belong in a classroom, having no interest in anything, but are disruptive and worse..... Tom is careful not to make disparaging remarks about his students.

So I called him on his 77th birthday with good wishes, and than I began to rag on him. I said Bernie Sanders is 77, like you, but he is running for President, what about you? Tom took that jibe in his stride, but then I thought about what I had just said and realized I had gotten it wrong. Teaching high school history in a public school in Los Angeles is a lot harder than running for President and Tom does it every day. Bernie Sanders has the easier job, Tom is the hero.

It is true, during my college years, that I did borrow his Buddy Holly record and never returned it. I might have borrowed his Chuck Berry and Bo Didley records too. I apologize for that.

Singing. I am taking voice lessons from YouTube and learning how to sing. My voice has improved in range and depth, and  I enjoy the vocal practice. Just the breathing alone has a decided health benefit. Memorizing the lyrics occupies the mind and keeps dismal thoughts at bay. Come sing with me if you are in town.


I have learned three songs so far.

"I've Grown Accustomed to her Face"

"I Can't Give You Anything but Love"

and the Jiminy Cricket Song, "When You Wish upon a Star."

Politics. I pay attention to the 2020 campaign. I read extensively about current events. I do not have a Democratic candidate, not yet. I like California Senator Kamala Harris. Now, I was going to say something about her, but my comment was admittedly Bidenesque, or out of touch as they say.  We should give awards to people like me who have the good sense to keep their mouths shut at times when they actually have nothing to say.

take care,

FRed















--
Fred Owens
cell: 360-739-0214

My gardening blog is  Fred Owens
My writing blog is Frog Hospital


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